Tuesday, April 29th, was one of those days where gladness and sadness were co-mingled all day long. One year ago our sweet granddaughter came into the world. I cannot imagine my life without her in it. But Tuesday was also the day my sweet friend Lou passed away, after a courageous three year battle with cancer. And I am wondering how my life and those of her husband and sons will be without her. Life and death. Joy and sorrow. How can emotions that are polar opposites exist in the same space?

Much to my surprise, Lou's husband asked me to share some about the Lou I knew and loved. I was scared, humbled and excited. Lou and I had talked openly about her death. Those conversations became the meat of what I shared.

"Four years ago I met Lou for the first time. Our path might never have crossed if it wasn’t for our mutual desire to know God better. I can still remember the first gathering she came to. I asked her pointedly why she wanted to be in a Bible study. She said that she had recently quit work and decided there were three important things she wanted to do. “First”, she said with a little smile and twinkle in her eye, “I want to spend more time with my boys and my husband. Secondly, I want to lose weight!” And then with a touch of awe in her voice she said, “I want to study the Bible and really know God.”

After she answered, I was struck with her elegance; her ready, beautiful, smile and her tender heart. And I was immediately bowled over with her enthusiasm to know Christ better. And if my memory serves me correctly, I was speechless. But so were the rest of the girls in the group. You see Lou had walked into a gathering of women she barely knew and laid it right out there. We all fell in love with her right away.

Lou was always ready. Every week she came armed with her Bible and her homework completed. She was ready to dive in, ready to listen, ready to laugh, ready to bare our burdens, and ready to pray. Sometimes to look at her during Bible study was like watching a flower open up to the sun. Lou didn’t come to Bible study with expectations, she came with expectancy. Her heart was like a sponge, her faith child-like.

Over the years we have studied Exodus, the Gospel of Mark, the book of Acts. And this summer, after the official Bible study ended, the girls in the Bible study read the book Calm My Anxious Heart, which meant so much to Lou.

Lou was curious and diligent throughout the years we all studied together. And as her health began to fail she spoken openly and honestly with me about what she believed to be true. She had a certainty of hope that was anchored in God’s love for her and believed that God sent his Son and her believing in him would guarantee her eternal life. Lou believed that with her whole heart. She also knew that we all were created to have fellowship with God; but because of our own stubborn self-will we chose to go our own way, but in spite of that God made a way for us to know him through his son and to experience his love and design for our lives. Lou reached the place where she went from being religious to being in a relationship with God. And because of that relationship she knew great peace even in the midst of her darkest hours.

Over the past few months I’ve seen her stack of “Get Well” cards and inspirational books grow. As I handed her yet another book to add to the stack I realized that what we all wanted to do was to give her relief, peace and encouragement. However, after each visit with Lou I was the one who came away with relief, peace and encouragement. Because she was experiencing first hand what I worry about…Will God really show up? Will he be enough? Her answer was yes, he was present in every situation she faced. We all worry about if we will be able to walk through the valley of the shadow of death and not be afraid? She spoke of the peace and strength she found through him. That didn’t mean that she didn’t agonize over her not being there for Russell and Luke, not being able to love and support Mark, not enjoying her family and friends. She still struggled with being terminally ill. But she struggled well. With such earnestness she spoke to me of putting her hand in Jesus’ hand like a trusting child and letting her gentle Savior lead her on.

There is a cavernous hole left without Lou. I will miss her radiant smile, dancing eyes, and lovely hands. I will miss hearing her saying, “I love you sweetie” each time I left her. But I rest in what Lou rested in...

O God, you are my God,

earnestly I seek you;

my soul thirsts for you,

my body longs for you,

in a dry and weary land

where there is no water.

I have seen you in the sanctuary

and beheld your power and your glory.

Because your love is better than life,

my lips will glorify you.

I will praise you as long as I live,

and in your name I will lift up my hands.

My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods,

with singing lips my mouth will praise you.

On my bed I remember you;

I think of you through the watches of the night.

Because you are my help,

I sing in the shadow of your wings.

My soul clings to you;

your right hand upholds me."

Psalm 63