Sunday

What an emotion filled week this has been. I am having a very hard time trying to keep up with the onslaught of news that is either wonderful or terrible.

We have a daughter, pregnant with her second baby (good news), but that baby is trying to make a premature arrival (bad news). My father has made it to 92 with relatively few major health concerns (good news) but has been on a steady decline in the past few weeks (bad news). A very special woman that I have been in Bible Study with for several years bravely fought breast cancer two years ago (good news), however, she has just gotten word that her cancer is back, this time in her lungs (bad news). A group of excited seniors from a Christian school in town went on a long anticipated ski trip (good news) and on their second day there, one of the students died tragically in a skiing accident (bad news).

It is times like these when I wonder if perhaps God has taken a little vacation. It is times like these when I feel the joy sucked right out of me. And I am having the hardest time figuring out what "the joy of the Lord" really is. So, for anyone who is reading this I am asking you to answer these questions...what does "the joy of the Lord" mean? Can you tell me when you have experienced pure joy in the middle of junk?




3 comments:

Lacey said...

Mrs. Suzi,

I've been having such a difficult time lately. Some days I feel as though I can hardly make it. My heart aches so much. I cry all the time. And miss her so much. I still believe, I'm just having a hard time with "WHY". Why did God let this happen to her? To us? What did I do? Not do?

I will try to post soon. Thank you for your concern. I do enjoy our new friendship & your posts. How is your daughter doing?

Lacey

Anonymous said...

Suzi, I received the URL for your blogsite at the women's Bible study. I am writing because you have invited responses. I don't have any answers, but I decided to enter some of my thoughts.

I appreciate your struggle to know if it is possible to experience "pure joy" in the midst of life's junk. It is something that I have been mulling over for quite awhile. I too am seeking to experience the joy of the Lord. From what I have read of the Scriptures and other writings I believe it is possible. I have read of real life testimonies of people who have had sweet communion with the Lord in horrific situations: such as under solitary confinement with despicable conditions in a prisoner of war camp; living in a war-torn African country and having been raped by invading soldiers; being stoned to death; taken captive and living in the jungle for months, etc. If they can experience sweet communion with God, a deep inner sense of peace and joy than why am I not experiencing it? Scripture talks about being able to have joy in the midst of trials; of the privilege of suffering for him. When Paul talks about it in the book of Philippians, for example, I think he must be from another planet.

Am I asking the wrong questions? Do I have the wrong assumptions, expectations of life? What does a Chinese pastor sitting in a prison cell possess? What does an AIDS orphan possess? All has been stripped away. Do they ask “why”? Do they expect to live to 100 with no serious illnesses, or marry a wonderful husband and have healthy children? I don’t know.

After seeing The Passion of the Christ, it struck me that God allowed his beloved, only Son to experience great physical suffering; great pain and bodily torture. Did God not care about his own son? What about the early Christians who were thrown to the lions. Did God close the lions' mouths so they wouldn't be hurt?

Matthew 10:28 says "Don't be afraid of those who want to kill you. They can only kill your body; they cannot touch your soul. Fear only God, who can destroy both soul and body in hell."

I am mulling these thoughts in my innermost being. I am wondering if our affluent culture has colored our view of God and life on earth. My desire is to know Christ so intimately that I will be willing to suffer greatly just because it is so wonderful to know Him and be in His presence. To come to a point where it is enough - just knowing Him, being his child. I am not there yet, but I long to be.

Thanks for letting me share a few thoughts.
Ruth

Aunt Boo said...

Hi Suzi,

I am one of Lacey's best friends and I just want you to know that I appreciate your kinds words to her. I have been unable to come up with any words that will make her feel "better" or at least not so bad. I am glad to see that she has made a new friend in you.

Thank you.
Amanda D.